Man, this schlep really drains. I'm so fried I could just curl up. All I wanna do is drink some soda and stare at the wall for days. But first, gotta share a few Onion Knight memes to cope with the boredom. Life is a real rollercoaster, man.

This corporate ladder you see? It's just a staircase leading to Shrek's swamp

Sure, they tell you it's all about drive, about ascending to the top and controlling your little domain. They paint a picture of wealth, but let me tell you, that shiny penthouse suite with its panoramic view? It's just another lonely tower in Shrek's swamp.

You'll be long days, meetings that go nowhere, and a never-ending parade of backstabbing competitors. Your goals? They'll get swallowed up in the mire like another unfortunate tourist who wandered into this wretched swamp.

• And don't even get me started on the dress code. You think your blazers will impress anyone down here?
• Trust me, you'll be wishing for a good pair of wellies

If ever you think about climbing that ladder, pause and ask yourself: Is this really what I want? Or am I just blindly following the system, only to end up like every other lost soul in Shrek's swamp?

Title: "Important Meeting" - My Inner Self: "Like an Onion, Shrek."

You know that feeling when your manager sends out an email with/about/regarding a meeting and the subject line just screams "urgency/importance/significance"? Yeah, well, my soul is currently experiencing something akin to a Shrek-themed onion. Layered with anxiety/dread/a healthy dose of WTF, each layer reveals/hides/uncovers another questionable/confusing/intriguing detail about the meeting's purpose.

Is it a performance review? A team-building exercise/activity/nightmare? Or, perhaps, the unveiling of a revolutionary/disastrous/slightly off-brand new company initiative? Honestly, at this point, I wouldn't be surprised if it was a meeting about how to best prepare for/survive/celebrate an alien invasion.

• I need coffee. Like, a metric ton of coffee.
• Maybe I should busy with something else.
• Can I survive this meeting without losing my mind?

This Spreadsheet Could Be Done Faster With Ogre Strength

Look, this spreadsheet is a real pain. I'm drowning in data and formulas, my brain is fried, and the deadline is looming like a hungry goblin. It wouldn't take some serious muscle to get this thing done. I'm talking about the kind of power that only an ogre. This ain't a job for your average office worker, this is heavy lifting material.

• How about a legion of trolls?
• This spreadsheet needs an atomic bomb
• I'm demanding a nap

Weekend? Nah, I'm Just Going Back to My Layer Cake of Papers

The idea of leisure this weekend is just ridiculous. My desk is currently a monument of documents, each one demanding my focus. Honestly, I'm more thrilled about tackling this tower of assignments than I am about watching some Netflix. Maybe a Sunday binge of caffeine and printing is more my speed.

Full Time Work Makes Me Feel Like a Donkey in a Corporate Stable

I'm stuck in this corporate monster. Every day feels like I'm shuffling along, just another cog in the system. I'm wrung dry from carrying this burden day after day. here I dream about escaping.

• Maybe I'll become a farmer and actually actually get to spend time with creatures who are happy in their environment.
• {Or maybe I'll start my own business and finally live on my own terms.
• {Whatever it is, I know I can't stay here forever.{ It's just not worth it.